They Really Do Listen

I had to share something funny that happened today. To start with, when Thomas is doing is school work and gets frustrated, I always tell him to just calm down and take a breather, especially when he is trying to spell his spelling words.
Well, Thomas' teacher was talking to me today and she said that last week, he was taking his spelling test and she noticed that he messed up on a word and was erasing it and was starting to get stressed. Then, without him know that she was listening, she said that she seen him stop and take a breather and say to himself,"mom says to calm down and take a breather." He did just that and got a perfect on his spelling test. When she told me that I have to admit I stood just a little taller and smiled with pride, that yes he does hear me when I talk. Isn't funny how something so small can just make your day? It sure did mine.

Our Children

Well, Mike and I got another set of pictures and letters sent out for our childrens' families in Liberia. A friend of ours is going over for a crusade in a couple of weeks. As I was getting the pictures ready and writing the letters, many things came over me. I looked at the pictures I was sending and just thought, "What will their birth parents think when they see these pictures?" I wonder if they can see how happy the children are, or that they are being well cared for, or most of all, if they can tell just how much we love them? I really think that they do. I know that our son's birthfather knows that we love Thomas very much (as we have had contact with him in the year and a half that we have had Thomas). I also know that he appreciates when we send pictures. I try to send them whenever I know of someone going over. I know that many people think that it is a little odd that we have an "open adoption" with our children's birth family in Africa, but it works for us. I mean that is the least that I can do is to send pictures to let them see that our child is doing well, that they are smiling, healthy, safe and loved. Maybe by sending these pictures it will ease that ache in their heart that I am sure is always there, it may help to reassure them that they did the right thing. Their is a special feeling in our hearts for our children's birth families. I was very fortunate that I was able to meet and spend time with both of our childrens' birth families. When I seen them it was like we held a special bond that was between us that no one else had. Almost like an unspoken connection. I seen Thomas' father look at his pictures and smile at how he was growing, but also a saddness to what he is missing. I also seen Josephine's birth mom hold her and pray for her before she let go, she prayed that God would keep her safe from any harm. I seen her look at her and know that this is what she truly wanted for Josephine, but also the saddness that any mother would feel in this situation. I seen two parents be so brave to put their own feelings aside to put their child's well-being and safety first. Two parents who sacrificed so that their children would not want for food, education, safety and health and have a chance at life. With that being said, how could I not keep in contact to let them know that the choice they made was right. I truly feel that these parents are part of our family. When I seen Thomas' birth father, I couldn't shake hands with him, I hugged him (just as I did with Josephine's birth mother), because a bond for a little child joined us together as family. A bond God wove together. I feel that we are picking up where these parents left off. We have an unspoken bond that only parents can have. Granted not everyone can have this with their children's birth family, as I know situations are different, but I feel very blessed to have this with both of our children's families. We are very open with our children and teach them to love and respect their birth families, as they gave a great sacrifice. When I write the letters, there is so much I want to say, from how well our child is doing to thank you for the sacrifice, to our child will always know what you gave up for them and why. I will always do my best to keep this contact as I feel that it is not only best for our children but also good for all involved. I try to put myself in their shoes and just to see some pictures or hear how the child is doing, would put my heart at some ease and that is the least I can do. I don't see our child as mine or theirs, I see our children as just that, "Our Children" (all of us together).

Happy 9th Birthday Thomas

Well, we have had a busy day celebrating Thomas' 9th Birthday. He has been so excited for this day to come. Ever since Steven's birthday last month all he has talked about is having his own birthday party and who he was inviting. Even at school yesterday, he was so excited to pass out cupcakes for his birthday. He asked us yesterday on the way home if any of us were going to tell him happy birthday yesterday and we laughed and told him that his birthday was the 7th not the 6th, he just said,"Oh, OK." We went to breakfast today and then had his party this evening. He was so proud and excited for his birthday. Someone told me yesterday at school that they have never seen a child get so excited for their birthday before. Then, I thought to myself, that is because he has a lot of birthday to make up for, ones where there was no celebrating, but only the words, Happy Birthday.

Dear Thomas,
Wow, my baby boy is 9 years old. You are growing up so fast on me. You are so excited for each birthday, but I have such mixed emotions. I am happy to be celebrating your birthday with you, but sad that you are now another year older and growing up on me. I also can't help to think about the birthdays that I missed. The ones where there wasn't a party, or a present but just the words Happy Birthday. I think of how you have grown since you have been here and the many changes you have went through. You are my "baby boy", and your dad and I love you so much. I see a beautiful boy growing up so nice and trying so hard. I see the excitement in just the simple things that you do or things people say to you. I see things that many take for granted, but you embrace so and hold on so tight to so that you enjoy each moment. Deep down, I know you remember what it was like to do without, that is why you enjoy things so much. I see so many things in your future and everything that you have going for you. You have so many talents you aren't even aware of yet, you are so special. I truly love being your mommy, and I know that you love being my son. I love the simple looks that you give, or that wonderful smile that you have that shows from ear to ear. I also love the tenderness in your heart when you are helping others, especially when others may not quite expect it. You make me proud! I may not have been there on the day you were born, but please trust me when I say that on that day, you were born in my heart. God knew that I would be your mommy one day, and he knew exactly when that day would be. I thank God for you Thomas each day and the fact that he has blessed me with the honor of being your mommy! I love you and Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mommy

Missing Mom

Well, as you can tell from the title it has been one of those days. But, the more I think of it, it has been a little more than that. I believe that it is just one of those times where I just truly miss my mom. Don't get me wrong, I miss my mom all of the time, but trust me when I say that when your parents have died, you find that you miss them more at some times than others. Well, lately, I have sure missed mine. My mom and I were very close and we pretty well knew what the other was thinking. My mom knew me very well and could tell when something was bothering me, or when I just needed to blow off steam, or needed to let some tears fall, she was always there. We shared many conversations and would talk about simple things to very indepth things. I loved our talks, and I valued her opinion as well as her criticisms:). She always said that if you don't want my opinion or advice then don't ask. She would never really interfere or give an opinion unless she was asked. I sure miss those opinions and her guidance. She knew when I needed to be told the truth even if I really didn't want to hear it, but she also knew when I needed a hug or a shoulder to cry on. I knew I could always depend on mom (and she told me she felt them same about me). She was one of my two best friends (Mike being the other). She was the strongest woman that I know, she never gave up no matter how bad things got. Many have no idea some of the things my mom went through, but she still kept on going. She was always there for us kids no matter what, and we always knew that. She was the glue that held us together. I would sure like to share different things that have happened in my life recently. I hate it that my two youngest never got to meet her. I would love to ask her opinion on different things, or have a laugh with her. I hate it that she never got to see me go to Africa and back, I know as much as it would have scared her to see me go, she would have been so proud that I did go and did it by myself (I know that she would have said, "I knew you could do it all along"). I know that she would be proud of me, but I would just love to have her here to hear her say it. I miss our talks, her wonderful sense of humor, her sarcasm (I get it honest), her hugs, her advice and her confidence. I guess the best way to say it is, I just miss my mom.
Go hug your mom today, or just give her a call and talk, trust me, you'll miss it when you can't do it anymore.