Prayer

Well, I have waited a little while to post this as my heart has been heavy the past couple of days. Our family, especially my "baby boy"(as I call him)--Thomas is in need of prayer. I was a little hesitant to post something like this, as I feel that it is and private matter for our family to deal with. But, I also know that prayer in numbers is a very powerful thing. Our son Thomas found a lump in his groin earlier this week. He had not noticed it until the night before she showed us. We obviously got him into the dr. the day that he showed us. We didn't get to see our regular dr., which by the way we LOVE b/c she is so calm and is just great and very knowledgable. She is also from Nigeria so she is very familiar with children from Africa and everything that they can have. Well, we got x-rays, ultra sounds, blood work, etc in the last couple of days (during a major snow storm I might add LOL--but we got them done and God kept us safe on the roads). We were told today that they are giving him antibiotics for a week to see if the lymph node goes down, if it doesn't then we will have to get a biopsy done on Thomas. The dr. is looking at Cat Stratch Fever(yes it is a real disease not just a song:)). The ultra sound tech mentioned that too, since we have a young cat and he shows some signs. They are doing blood work for that but it won't be back for a week, so that is why she started on the antibiotic tonight, b/c we will probably know really before the results of the bloodwork come back. She said that we should see some improvement in the lump within a few days after taking the meds. If there is no improvement by next Wed. then we will have to get a biopsy. She just doesn't want to put Thomas through surgery if he doesn't have to. I just sincerely ask and really plead for your prayers for our Thomas and for us. You all know as parents and especially as a mother all kinds of things go through your mind. I know that I have to pray and let God handle this, He is the great physician and can heal all. Thank you each for your concerns and prayers in advance:)

First Week Back and Some Other Stuff

Well I made it, my first week back to work. Things went well. The kids were all happy to see me back to work and my friends too. Josie did pretty good. Her hardest part is the morning when her and Mike drop me off at school, or when we are getting ready the night before. She will tell me that, "You not go to school." She told Mike this week that I was to old to go the school--LOL. She thought that I went to school there like the boys, she didn't understand that I worked there. Then the kids in my room and the woman that subbed for me while I was gone made a Dora blanket for Josie. They tied the sides and ends and then gave it to me to give to Josie for a gift. Josie loved it, but when I said that we could write a thank you card, she said that yes, she would write a letter to Dora:). She thought that "Dora" sent her the blanket:). So, we just let her think that as to argue with her that someone made it. So for the most part, she has done well and so have I. Thomas and Steven are glad that I am back at school.
Then, on Saturday the boys had their indoor soccer game. They won, so that was nice, especially since they lost last week. They were excited. Then, after the game, we went to a meeting with our friends from the Liberian Church that we attend as often as we can (we live about 45 min. away from them). We are helping them to raise money to build a school in Liberia. It is such a neat story has to how we have been connected with them. We truly love being around them. They are so kind to us and we enjoy them so much. When we were there, they had fixed food and shared it with us. It was Liberian food. We LOVED it!! I can never pass up Liberian food when it is served. Mike said that he couldn't pass it up either. See we ate before we got there, b/c we didn't know that they were having food. We loved it! They all were so nice, many offered for us to come to there house sometime and they would even help me with Josie's hair. I feel like when we were there, that they are so thankful and accept any help that we can give them. And we will offer any help that we can. We have the same goal in mind, in win souls for God and to educate those in Liberia. I know that God led us to this church and this community. I also talked to them and asked them to pray for the adoption situation in Liberia. They were truly bothered by the fact that the adoptions were on hold and having such a hard time processing. They just said that anything they could do to talk to, write letters to, etc. that talks about how the children are treated here, or how much this is needed for these children, they would be happy to do so. They said to me that this is the only hope for many of the children in Liberia. Now we all know that this isn't the "cure all" for the problems there, but it is needed and these children have such a better life here. They said that you can't believe what these children go through and what their future will hold if they have to stay there. It was just so sad and they were bothered just talking about it. They said that if the gov't wants "their own children" to stay in Liberia, then what are they doing to help them. They said, not a whole lot, because nothing has changed. It just emphasized again to me that this is the ONLY hope for many of these kids, maybe not all, but for many. They just said over and over, please don't let this stop you from adopting, these kids need it.
I just loved being around them and I loved for my kids to be around them. Besides the food:) we just loved singing with them, talking with them, praying with them, and working with them to help others and win souls for God here and in Liberia.
We enjoyed our weekend, but it has ended too soon. But another week will start and more joys and challenges will be ahead of us and eventually behind us and we will face them together with God's help and get through another week.

12 Weeks of Changes

I knew that this day was coming but, to me it seems to have come very quickly. I approach tomorrow with very mixed emotions. Like I have said before, I am very blessed to have the job I do and I love who I work with. Then there is the obvious other side. My heart is torn by the little girl who I have been with for 12 weeks. I can't really believe at times that Josie has been with me for 12 weeks, it sometimes just seems like yesterday that I was preparing to leave the U.S. on a journey that would lead me to our daughter. 12 weeks ago, I didn't know how to fix her hair, or I didn't play Barbies or doll babies, it was mostly trucks, cars and little army guys here. Now we have a mix of Barbies (some of those Barbies have married military men from G.I. Joe:), we have baby doll after baby doll, and I have even caught the boys playing baby doll too. Each have their babies and their names, and I am the babysitter when they have to go away:). We have watch Strawberry Shortcake, Dora, and Backyardigans movies. I have learned how to fix Josie's hair and love picking out her clothes. Our home has changed in 12 weeks, but it has changed for the better. Also in those 12 weeks I have traveled to Africa and been exposed to things that will always be a part of me. My heart has laughed, rejoiced, cried and even grown in those 12 weeks. I don't really think that I am the same person as I was 12 weeks ago. There are things that I have been exposed to that are now my responsibility to educate others about. Other things that are going on in our world that others need to know about and I have seen it first hand. I don't look at money the same way. Someone was telling me how much they spent for an IPod the other day. It was very nice and in fact it would be very nice to have, but being where I have been, I thought to myself, that would send a child to school in Liberia for a year. I am not saying we can't have nice things, my own children are playing soccer and that costs also, but we have cut some of the unnecessary things out of our lives. I know that we think a little more about spending and what we really need. Of course we still have some wants and we get those wants sometimes and we aren't perfect, but we are much more aware and cautious. I will not stand on a soapbox and tell everyone what they need to do, but I will examine more closely about what I need to do and point the finger at me. I am responsible for what I seen and I will have to answer one day for what I did or didn't do to help. There isn't a night in the last 12 weeks that I haven't throughout the day or when I lay down at night that I haven't thought about Liberia and what I experienced. I always think about my friends that I met and about our children's families. There also isn't a day that goes by that I haven't thought about how lucky I am to have received the wonderful gift of my daughter (and my sons and husband for matter).
If the world were perfect I would never have to leave our daughter (or our sons for that matter) and we could be just fine in our house. But we all know that the world isn't perfect. I will go to work tomorrow, I will appreciate my job and what I do and who I work with. I will also probably shed a few tears tonight and in the morning as I miss my daughter and my husband and the routine that I had for the last 12 weeks. But I will be excited to see my boys everyday and my very good friends at work. I will put my new pictures up at my desk and share with my class what Liberia was like (not everything, but things they would want to hear). I am so grateful to be able to come home to our little girl each night and know that next year she will be in the same school as me. I pray and reassure her that mommy will come home to her each day, as I know that that is a very real concern on her mind because to her it has been done before so what would stop someone from doing it now (even if the intentions were the best for her). I will work even harder to make each moment special for us as well as my time with Thomas, Steven and Mike. Things will change, but it is OK to change sometimes. If things always stayed the same I wouldn't have what I do today, and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world.

The Aftermath of Cold Weather

Well, it has been an eventful weekend. We really started our weekend Wednesday afternoon when Steven and Thomas were let out of school early because of a snow storm that we were getting. Then, school was cancelled on Thursday because of snow and extremely cold weather. They were already supposed to be out of school on Friday. They are off tomorrow for Martin Luther King Jr. Day and then on Tuesday for a special teacher in-service meeting. So, these boys have had a LONG weekend. I think that they have enjoyed it. They have done pretty good. I do think that they have gotten a little "cabin fever" from being inside so much. When the actual temp. is -10 (not including the wind chill) there isn't much you can do outside. They also had their first indoor soccer game. They were both excited and loved the fact that they were on the same team. When Steven came in and him and Thomas ended up playing right beside each other, Thomas just looked over at us and gave us a big smile. We were so proud of them (the team didn't win, but I loved seeing my boys working together and enjoying playing on the same team). After the game the coach came up to Mike and told Mike that Steven told the coach before the game that he will play anywhere they needed him and they could sub. him in and out whenever they wanted him to. We laughed because, that is just Steven, always ready to do what is needed and is pretty easy going(except clean his room that is or pick up after himself at home:)). Steven even got a handball and the ref. looked at him when he called it and Steven shook his head yes. He even told me afterward that he shook his head, he said he wanted to be honest with the ref.:) That's our Steven!
Along with those below 0 temp. came frozen pipes (the joys of living in an older home). Our washer pipes were frozen and our dishwasher pipes were frozen. The washer pipes were frozen for about 3 days, a good friend let me come to her house to wash some clothes (our dryer worked, so I could dry clothes at home). Well, as the temp. are warming up to a scorching 18 degrees:), things have started to thaw a little. Well, last night at about midnight, Steven came upstairs and woke Mike up saying that there was something going on downstairs. Mike went downstairs with Steven and opened the laundry room/back porch door and what looked like smoke was coming from there. Steven panicked and went to get the fire extinguisher and told Mike to use it. Well, it wasn't smoke from a fire, but the steam from the hot water pipe that were busted and hot water was all over the place on the back porch/laundry room. It was a mess. Mike just shut all of the water off for the night because obviously no place was open for him to get piping. So, he got up early this morning so that he could start working on it. After working all day in a cold crawlspace in the basement (remember, we have an older home), he finally fixed all of the piping and we now have water to the washer:). I did feel so sorry for him, he worked so hard and was so tired this evening that he went to bed early. I helped to run up and down the stairs for him while he worked. So, he made sure to insulate the pipes as much as he could this time:). I thought about how thankful that I was that I had a husband that could do this and did do it.
I have enjoyed my long weekend with my family, frozen/broken pipes and all:).

One Week

Well things are better than last week. I know prayers have been lifted and we have felt them. Some good news, Mike got Josephines social security number today!! I know that sounds very silly to get excited about, but if you only knew the stress that it has caused us you would understand. God blessed me with a very smart husband who did the research and found the information needed, and showed social security how to do their job based on their own website (he did it in a very nice way, but told them that it was sad that he knew the information based on their website better than them). The whole time that he was in the social security office I sat in the truck praying for him. When Mike puts his mind to something, he will research it like crazy until he understands it. When he got into the car he smiled and said,"See, knowledge is power." (he said see I did learn something from school house rock on Saturday mornings). That is just Mike's sense of humor.
This is also my last week of being off with Josie. My heart is sad as I truly wish that I could continue to stay home with her. We have bonded so well with each other, I don't know who it will be harder on her or me. No, I can't just quit work. There is a little thing called money that we need and also something called insurance that I carry for us. I work at the local school so I am on the exact same schedule as my kids and they also attend the school I work at. So, I am off in the summer and off on all of their breaks. Josephine will go there next year, so it just really doesn't make sense to quit. I love the person I work with, we both feel that God put us together, we are a real support to each other and the fact that I see my own kids throughout the day makes it easier. When I do step back and look at things, I know that I am blessed to have this job. It is just hard now, but Josie will be with Mike throughout the day and when he has to go to appts. she will go to my cousin's who truly adores her. Just keep me and her in your prayers next week as we make the transition. God knew this is how it had to be and he still wanted this little girl here, so I know he will get us through it. I would love to one day work with adoptions and adoptive parents. I have told Mike that is a job I would love to do. But, who knows, God has me where he needs me and I will follow where he leads, whenever and where ever that is.
So, we are all enjoying our time together. I will also miss being with Mike, as he works from home right now. That will be hard to be away from him. There isn't a whole lot that we don't do together as a family. We are pretty much together most of the time. That is fine with me, that is the way it should be. God has blessed us with 3 wonderful kids and I know that one day they will be grown up and we will wish we had this time back.

Lord Move Or Move Me

Big heading huh?:) Well it has been one of those days. One of those days where you do wonder hello God are you there, can you see me? There is a lot going on, things are kind of crazy right now. Don't worry, the kids are doing great. One is going through some growing pains that can drive a person crazy, but I know they are just that growing pains, I have seen them in the other kids this one's age. Yes, I know that God is there, but He really seems a million miles away right now. One of those times where you want to say OK, God, the joke is up, what on earth are you trying to teach me from this, and will I be sane when I have finally gotten to where you want me. I know that God never said that this life would be easy, He just said that He would be with me. A very good friend wrote me that:
Maybe he wants you where you're
at so that you're able to hear him when he speaks to you or he just
wants you at his feet for the time being.
I have read this over an over and thought of that. As the days get busy and time gets away, I do notice that sometimes I put off talking to God or reading my devotional as well. Maybe God is saying, Come back to me Ann, remember how much you need our time together. I guess that is why I am glad God never turns his back or gives up on me. No matter how bad it gets or how stubborn that I am God his there to show me when I mess up and he is also there to reach out his hands to lift me up and sometimes carry me when walking just seems to hard. Thank goodness God is strong:) He also has blessed me with another very good friend who is there to talk to and has been there. She has helped more than she knows. I know this too shall pass, but just keep us in your prayers until then:)
If you get my playlist at the side listen to FFH Lord Move Or Move Me, it has been one of those days.

I Went To Africa! (And no one went with me)

Well, for the past couple of days the thought came into my mind at different times that, "I Went To Africa, and No One Went With Me." If you know me, you would understand the fact that it is sometimes hard for me to believe. Sometimes I wake up and think, did I go or was that just a dream. Then I see Josie and see the pictures that I have and then all of my memories come back to remind me that yes I did go to Africa without anyone going with me. Now, like I have always said from the beginning, God was with me there and back, and that is the only way I did this. I talked to one of my friends today and I told her that I have been thinking this the past couple of days, and she smiled and said, she thought the same thing just the other night. She said she was thinking, "Yea, Andrea said that she was going to go and she did." I told another one of my friends about a year ago that I just felt like I was to go to Liberia for some reason. I told her that I wasn't for sure when, but I knew that I was to go to Liberia. At the time we weren't looking at adopting, but something deep down gave me the desire to go. Now, all along I always thought that someone would be going with me or even another couple would be going at the same time and we could meet up, but at no time did I really think that I would go by myself. Yes, there were a few times I thought, well Mike will probably end up going, but as time got closer, I knew that I was the one to go. On the way there, in the airplane it would hit me a time or two that I was actually on my way to Liberia, Africa. I did learn that I can be very independent when I need to be (I won't always show that to Mike, but he has told me he already knew that I was:), I also learned that I am resourceful and can take care of myself (with God's help of course). I will also tell you that Mike made sure that I was taken care of as far as having all of my stuff planned out and he even made me a map of the airports so that I could see where I needed to go (I am a visual person). I have learned to carry on a conversation with complete stranger and ask them for help when needed (not that I couldn't carry on a conversation before with a complete stranger according to Mike) and have also learned that I know how to keep myself safe. I grew from my trip to Liberia. When I told Francis (the man in charge at WACSN while I was there) that this was the first time that I had ever traveled by myself anywhere out of Ohio, and the first time ever that I had traveled out of the country, he could not believe it. He asked me then what made you come alone to Liberia. Then I said, "That was the only way Josie was going to get home, what was I supposed to do." (And the fact that I know that God had called me quite awhile ago). Then he proceeded to say that he would have never guessed it was my first time traveling alone and understood why I was a little homesick. I also seen that I can travel back home with a 4 year old and go through all of paperwork, etc. needed to re-enter the country. I also learned that I can sure stand up for myself when I need to also. I guess I learned that with God I can do anything. Even things I never guessed I could do. I want people to take from my whole story that when God calls you to something, He will give you strength that you never knew you had. I guess I learned how David felt when He faced Goliath. Once I walked away from Mike at the airport to leave, I took a deep breath (and shed a few tears) and faced my Goliath. I know some people didn't think I could do it, but I knew that with God I could. So when God calls you to something, He will provide everything you need and then some. You will stand in amazement at what He can do, hey He "Sent me to Africa (and no one went with me--but Him)".

I will add that I didn't lose anything (except my MP3 player at the Brussels airport--metal detector thing--was in a hurry--but is wasn't expensive at all). And Mike I always made sure that I had my 4 things at all times----passport, money, and 2 bags:)
The pictures are of Josie and I at the beach in Liberia.
The other picture is of me taking a picture of Josie in front of a house. We went out to the "bush" to visit some people.

A New Year! What's In Store?

Well, it is a new year. I have thought about last year and what happened throughout the year. I can sure tell you that when we started 2008 I would have never guessed that we would have a daughter by the end of it, and I would probably not have guessed that I would have been the one to travel to Liberia and back by myself physically (God was with me all the way). I would have probably not have guessed that we would have went through some of the things that we did and make it with our sanity still in tact:). I hear a lot of people say that "I hope that 2009 is better than 2008". Well, for the most part 2008 was very good for us, we celebrated our first Gottcha Anniversary with Thomas, celebrated another birthday with Steven, gave Thomas his very first birthday party (he turned 8). We also started on another adoption journey and added and new member to our family. We were able, with God's intervention, to travel to get Josie, and I was able to experience what it was like to get to be the one to see her for the first time. I was able to experience Liberia and become more confident in myself and what God wants me to do. I faced a lot of "Goliaths" and won most of them (again, only with God's help). Mike and I learned that no matter what as long as we stick together we can make it through a lot of things. I learned that I have a lot more respect for people who travel away from their families a lot, especially our military, because I didn't like being that far away from my family. I also seen what it was like to see many children live in extreme poverty and beg to come to America and be part of a family. I learned to be very thankful for what I have and know that I can do without because I have never know what it is like to truly have nothing. I have also seen what it like for a parent to say goodbye to their child and hold them one last time and know that it will possibly be the last time they will ever see them.
In 2008, there were 10 orphans who came home to their families that are now part of our church. We all got together today and the kids played (in our church gym). Between 5 families there were a total of about 35 children that have been adopted. It was so amazing to just look and see each of their faces and see them together. There were 35 children that no longer had to wonder if they mattered to someone or if they would ever get a family. 35 kids that go to sleep at night that have been fed and have a warm bed. Each of these kids know that God loves them and so do their parents. Wow, I am excited for 2009, I already know that some families will be adding to that 35:). That is what can happen when you open yourself to do what God asks, whether it is orphans, widows, prison ministries or whatever God truly wants you to do.
So, as you can see I enjoyed 2008 for the most part. Sure there were good and bad times, times my heart was torn and broken and at times we were scared, but we kept on going and learned that tomorrow was a new day. We also learned to enjoy today, but also look forward to tomorrow and anticipate what God had in store for us.
I have no idea what 2009 will hold. In fact I really don't want to know right now, I will leave that to God, but I will leave myself open to letting Him work in my life and my families'. In this time of people talking about having no hope, I am just happy that I have hope because of God and no one can take that away.